I am sorry that I was not enough

When you found me and I found you, I was wrecked. I was lost, and I was lonely. Trying to heal. I think you were all of those things too. Two lost, damaged people who found each other at sea. There was room enough for two on the door that we clung to. You taught me more than anyone else in my life before or since. Technical things. Practical things. New places. New Experiences. I had fun, and I hope you did too. I think you did at the time. You and I made a great partnership. Our personalities supporting each other. The sum of us greater than each of us. We clung together and made it out of the darkness. At least I did, but I don't think you ever really did. Looking at you and how much you did for me, I could only see your strength and not the shadows that clung to your heart and mind. Looking at myself and how much you did for me, I could only see my weaknesses and how much I needed you.  I could not imagine the doubts inside of you, and I could not see your fears. I could not see

You Wrecked Me Because I Let You

I never intended to fall in love with you. For all of my life, loving someone who loved me back was mission one.  I kissed a lot of princesses looking for the one who would change me from a frog. I dated many people looking for the piece to complete me. In time, losing you put me on the path to understand that those were foolish hope of an easy way out. I was the one who kept me enchanted. I was the one who did not see I was complete. That process took years. And it hurt. And I missed you the entire time. That summer evening, I knew I was leaving town in a couple of months.  I put my search for the one on pause. I gave myself permission to just be me. One date. Ice cream. A movie. A kiss.  You were so beautiful inside and out. You were the first to undo the locks around my heart. I knew you were the one for me, and I could not imagine any other outcome. You, on the other hand, were inexperienced. You did not know what you wanted.  That Friday in September we were just over 100 miles ap

Identity Archetypes

Our core identity reflects first our driving purpose: to leave a legacy, to connect to others, to provide structure, or to explore the spiritual. Second, our dominant approach to life...heart, mind, or body...influences how we seek our purpose. Do we seek to leave a legacy? Grounded in the heart, the rebel/outlaw seeks to leave a legacy of liberation by breaking the rules and over throwing the system. Centered in mind, the magician creates a legacy through transformation and growth for themselves and others. Based in the body, the hero seeks a legacy of victory and winning or at least keeping fighting. Do we seek to make a connection with others? Grounded in the heart , the lover's connection is intimate, seeking to love and be loved. Centered in mind, the jester connects through play and fun and laughter. Based in the body, the everyperson belongs to the community and fitting in and belonging. Do we seek to provide structure? Grounded in the heart, the caregiver provides str


Good advice for kids Strangers have the best candy makes A great t-shirt slogan.

History of the Universe

 The history of the universe is the story of ideas. In the beginning, the Big Bang spewed the ides of physics that became the universe.  The idea of physics...light and matter and energy and how two atoms interact to form a molecule is the original origin story. In time, those physical reactions led to the formation of solar systems and planets.  On at least one of those planets the right combination of physical reactions led to biological life.  The idea of biology...information can be communicated through genetic codes.  Biological organisms were not simply reacting to external stimuli the way that atoms did.  They interacted.  Evolution describes how a biological entity adapted to its environment.  A butterfly adopts  a certain type of color to appear to be a butterfly that is poisonous.  This allows the butterfly to be fruitful and multiply.  Seeds from plants discover ways to spread their influence... Sticking to animal fur... Being eaten by birds to be deposited somewhere else...

The Problem with Modern Stoics

 Father, forgive the Stoics for they do not know what they do. “We forget: In life, it doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.” (Ryan Holiday) When you are in a place of privilege and comfort, it is easy to preach the philosophy of "suck it up, buttercup." Take the story of Jackie Robinson.  The first Black man to break the color barrier in major league baseball, Robinson is a true hero.   Robinson was the target of aggressive racism.  He was forced to play with people who were vocally racists and questioned his right to he there.  Robinson proved his right by not fighting back.  He never took a swing at those who deserved it or publicly gotten into arguments.  He even allowed himself to have his picture taken with out and loud racists.  By playing through the hostility, Robison opened the door for others.  If he had responded to violence and bigotry with aggression, it would have played i

You Do You

 You do you. There is no value in trying to be someone else. You do not need to compare yourself with those you admire. You do not need to contrast yourself with those you despise. In his semi-autobiographical book David Copperfield , Dickens writes: “Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.” Dickens was being rhetorical in the sense that only you can be the hero of your life. There are other heroes that help advance your story. Friends. Family. Lovers. Enemies. But you and only you are with you from start to finish, womb to tomb. Do not fear about missing out.  Instead fear not being true to who you are. Be cautious of those who tell you this is the best way to live your life. There are many paths to success, and many ideas of success. The challenge of life is to find your path and your idea of success. Borrow from others what to do and what not to do and how to do it or not, But always remembe